I called in sick today. I hardly ever call in sick. In my 16 years of working, I can count my sick days on one hand. But today I just felt AWFUL. The sickness from the weekend had got worse, and truth be told I am feeling mentally fragile after some incredibly stressful days at work which have triggered a bad patch of anxiety (a post in itself).
In all honesty, today just felt wrong from the start.
Then I went on Facebook and I saw I had a friend request from the sister of a friend of mine, “N”. The moment I saw that message my heart just sank. My friend, “L”, has been very sick for a long time. For the years that I have known her she has struggled with anorexia and she has always been so skinny that I could not understand how she could even get out of bed. Yet the whole time I have known her she has insisted on keeping a job (except she has moved from place to place, as they often ask her to leave. The cynic in me is sure that this is not because she was bad, but because the corporates clearly didn’t want the liability of employing someone so sick).
Anyway, I instantly feared the worst. I tried to convince myself that perhaps it wasn’t quite as bad as I suspected (“She’s been admitted to hospital”) or even something good (“We want to organise a surprise party”), but deep down I knew. So when the news came that she had passed away, I wasn’t actually surprised.
I am just so angry. Why did this have to happen to her? She was so genuinely lovely. One of those people that would do anything for anybody. She always put others ahead of her and never spoke badly of anyone.
She didn’t have many friends because people thought she was “weird”, which always annoyed me so much. She wasn’t “weird” because she took an interest in people and didn’t bitch and was softly spoken and was always trying to help. She was one of those warm, genuine, generous people that everyone complains that we need more of. She was the loyal friend. I am just heartbroken that this got the better of her.
Life is so very short and so very cruel.