Today I became an auntie for the first time as my brother-in-law’s wife gave birth to a little girl. For the sake of anonymity, her internet name shall be ‘Tiny”.
I am actually very excited and am looking forward to stepping up and being Auntie Flat. For the time being I’m the only auntie Tiny will have, although she’ll have lots of uncles, so I’m hoping I can play a special part in her future.
I was a little nervous that I would feel that gut-wrenching despair when I found out the baby had been born. Ordinarily it is so painful to hear of other people’s pregnancies and births, but so far I’ve felt nothing but joy. I’m sure this is because my brother-in-law and his wife struggled for several years to have a child (a few years of infertility, then an ectopic, then a miscarriage) so I know how truly grateful they are to have a healthy baby. I also know they’ll understand if I have weird times around Tiny, such as if I get a bit tearful or struggle to hold her, as they’ve been there before.
I just really hope BT and I get the chance to experience pregnancy, birth and raising children. Sometimes I feel no hope, because if it was going to happen it would have surely happened by now. Then I see what happened to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and feel more positive. It comes and goes.
On the IVF-front we have our first clinic tests this Friday. We’ll hopefully then get an idea about timescales for the rest of the cycle. For now, all we’re doing is eating as healthily as we can (I’ve lost 3lbs since Christmas, wahoo!), exercising and doing whatever we can to relax. None of this is easy, so I just pray it will all be worth it in the end. I suppose it is always “worth it” because anything that makes you healthier, both physically and mentally, is only a good thing.
Hopefully 2016 will continue to be a positive one.